Human Battery

"The hardest arithmetic to master isthat which enables us to count our blessings." -Eric Hoffer

According to legend, a young man while roaming the desert came across a spring of delicious crystal-clear water. The water was so sweet he filled his leather canteen so he could bring some back to a tribal elder who had been his teacher.

After a four-day journey he presented the water to the old man who took a deep drink, smiled warmly and thanked his student lavishly for the sweet water. The young man returned to his village with a happy heart.

Later, the teacher let another student taste the water. He spat it out, saying it was awful. It apparently had become stale because of the old leather container. The student challenged his teacher: "Master, the water was foul. Why did you pretend to like it?"

The teacher replied, "You only tasted the water. I tasted the gift. The water was simply the container for an act of living-kindness and nothing could be sweeter."

Self-motivation without gratitude is impossible. Our energy is "sapped" when our entire focus is on what's wrong instead of what is right with our lives.

One of our greatest challenges is to live and love in spite of pain and disappointment...to find gratitude in the midst of it all.

Reflect for a moment on this beautiful quote from Melody Beattie:
"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."

Packing our parachutes

As a leader, do you honor and appreciate the power of WE?
Do you stop to thank and recognize the members of your team?
Do you consistently show an attitude of gratitude?

I recently read a great story about Captain Charles Plumb, a graduate from the Naval Academy, whose plane, after 74 successful combat missions over North Vietnam, was shot down.
He parachuted to safety, but was captured, tortured and spent 2,103 days in a small box-like cell.

After surviving the ordeal, Captain Plumb received the Silver Star, Bronze Star, the Legion of Merit and two Purple Hearts, and returned to America and spoke to many groups about his experience and how it compared to the challenges of every day life.

Shortly after coming home, Charlie and his wife were sitting in a restaurant. A man rose from a nearby table, walked over and said, "You're Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. You were shot down!"

Surprised that he was recognized, Charlie responded, "How in the world did you know that?" The man replied, "I packed your parachute." Charlie looked up with surprise. The man pumped his hand, gave a thumbs-up, and said, "I guess it worked!"

Charlie stood to shake the man's hand, and assured him, "It most certainly did work. If it had not worked, I would not be here today."

Charlie could not sleep that night, thinking about the man. He wondered if he might have seen him and not even said, "Good morning, how are you?" He thought of the many hours the sailor had spent bending over a long wooden table in the bottom of the ship, carefully folding the silks and weaving the shrouds of each chute, each time holding in his hands the fate of someone he didn't know.

Plumb then began to realize that along with the physical parachute, he needed mental, emotional and spiritual parachutes. He had called on all these supports during his long and painful ordeal.
As a leader, how many times a day, a week, a month, do we pass up the opportunity to thank those people in our organization who are "packing our parachutes?"

The 80/20 Rule

The 80/20 Rule is one of the most helpful of all concepts of time and life management. It is also called the "Pareto Principle" after its founder, the Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto, who first wrote about it in 1895. Pareto noticed that people in his society seemed to divide naturally into what he called the "vital few", the top 20 percent in terms of money and influence, and the "trivial many", the bottom 80 percent.

He later discovered that virtually all economic activity was subject to this principle as well. For example, this principle says that 20 percent of your activities will account for 80 percent of your results, 20 percent of your customers will account for 80 percent of your sales, 20 percent of your products or services will account for 80 percent of your profits, 20 percent of your tasks will account for 80 percent of the value of what you do, and so on. This means that if you have a list of ten items to do, two of those items will turn out to be worth five or ten times or more than the other eight items put together.

Number of Tasks versus Importance of Tasks
Here is an interesting discovery. Each of the ten tasks may take the same amount of time to accomplish. But one or two of those tasks will contribute five or ten times the value of any of the others.

Often, one item on a list of ten tasks that you have to do can be worth more than all the other nine items put together. This task is invariably the frog that you should eat first.

Focus on Activities, Not Accomplishments
The most valuable tasks you can do each day are often the hardest and most complex. But the payoff and rewards for completing these tasks efficiently can be tremendous. For this reason, you must adamantly refuse to work on tasks in the bottom 80 percent while you still have tasks in the top 20 percent left to be done.

Before you begin work, always ask yourself, "Is this task in the top 20 percent of my activities or in the bottom 80 percent?"

The hardest part of any important task is getting started on it in the first place. Once you actually begin work on a valuable task, you will be naturally motivated to continue. A part of your mind loves to be busy working on significant tasks that can really make a difference. Your job is to feed this part of your mind continually.

Motivate Yourself
Just thinking about starting and finishing an important task motivates you and helps you to overcome procrastination. Time management is really life management, personal management. It is really taking control of the sequence of events. Time management is having control over what you do next. And you are always free to choose the task that you will do next. Your ability to choose between the important and the unimportant is the key determinant of your success in life and work.

Effective, productive people discipline themselves to start on the most important task that is before them. They force themselves to eat that frog, whatever it is. As a result, they accomplish vastly more than the average person and are much happier as a result. This should be your way of working as well.

Eat That Frog!

There's an old saying that says...

"If the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning is eat a live frog, then nothing worse can happen for the rest of the day!"

The Forgotten Key to Succss

When I was a senior in high school, I occasionally substitute-taught a Sunday School class for five-year-old boys. One Sunday, I was teaching twenty very active boys - do you know any that age who aren't? - a lesson on the Apostle Peter.

During a little review I asked, "Who in the class would like to tell me who Peter was?" Dead silence. Not one hand went up. Then I said, "We've talked about this for twenty minutes, so surely someone knows the answer." With that a little boy with red hair said, "I t'ink Pet'a was a wabbit." It was an unforgettable moment.

We all know kids aren't the greatest listeners in the world, but that changes as we grow older and wiser, right? For many, I don't think so.

Without question, the art of listening is one of the most underestimated keys to success. I want you to stop and think about the friends you really enjoy being with, the bosses you've enjoyed working for, and I'd be willing to bet they all have one thing in common...they are good listeners.

A few years ago a friend called. He was distraught. He was going through some difficult times in his life, and was being forced to make some tough choices. We agreed to meet at a restaurant for lunch. We sat for over three hours, and he poured his heart out. Every fifteen minutes or so I'd ask a question and he would respond. At the end of his conversation, I could see the twinkle in his eyes, and the bounce was back in his step. He thanked me over and over again for sharing my advice. But you know what...I really offered no advice. In the three hours that we met, I'd estimate that he spoke for two hours and fifty-five minutes. But by encouraging him to talk through his stressful situation, he was able to reach his own conclusions. The next day, he called and said, "Mac, I just figured out why I like you so much - when I'm with you, I feel good about me."

We all want to be heard. We all want to feel what we have to say is important, and you can convey no greater honor than to sincerely listen to what someone has to say.

Mac Anderson

感恩生活

感恩生活
　　一次，美国前总统罗斯福家失盗，被偷去了许多东西，一位朋友闻讯后，忙写信安慰他，劝他不必太在意。罗斯福给朋友写了一封回信：“亲爱的朋友，谢谢你来信安慰我，我现在很平安。感谢上帝：因为第一，贼偷去的是我的东西，而没有伤害我的生命；第二，贼只偷去我部分东西，而不是全部；第三，最值得庆幸的是，做贼的是他，而不是我。”对任何一个人来说，失盗绝对是不幸的事，而罗斯福却找出了感恩的三条理由。这个故事，启发我们该如何感恩生活。　

小孩的心 　　
有一位单身女子刚搬了家，她发现隔壁住了一户穷人家， 　　一个寡妇与两个小孩子。有天晚上，那一带忽然停了电，那位女子只好自己点起了蜡烛。没一会儿，忽然听到有人敲门。 　　原来是隔壁邻居的小孩子，只见他紧张地问：「阿姨，请问你家有蜡烛吗？」女子心想：「他们家竟穷到连蜡烛都没有吗？千万别借他们，免得被他们依赖了！ 」 　　于是，对孩子吼了一声说：「没有！」正当她准备关上门时，那穷小孩展开关爱的笑容说：「我就知道你家一定没有！」 　　说完，竟从怀里拿出两根蜡烛，说：「妈妈和我怕你一个人住又没有蜡烛，所以我带两根来送你。」 　　此刻女子自责、感动得热泪盈眶，将那小孩子紧紧地拥在怀里. 　　

朋友
有两个人在沙漠中行走`他们是很要好的朋友`在途中不知道什么原因`他们吵了一架`其中一个人打了另个人一巴掌`那个人很伤心很伤心`于是他就在沙里写道：“今天我朋友打了我一巴掌” 　　`写完后`他们继续行走`他们来到一块沼泽地里`那个人不小心睬到沼泽里面`另一个人不惜一切 `拼了命地去救他`最后那个人得救了`他很高兴很高兴`于是拿了一块石头`在上面写道：“今天我朋友救了我一命”朋友一头雾水`奇怪得问：“为什么我打了你一巴掌`你把它写在沙里`而我救了你一命你却把它刻在石头上呢？`那个人笑了笑`回答道：“当别人对我有误会`或者有什么对我不好的事`就应该把它记在最容易遗忘`最容易消失不见的地方`由风负责把它抹掉`而当朋友有恩与我`或者对我很好的话`就应该把它记在最不容易消失的地方`尽管风吹雨打也忘不了 　　

善良的力度 　　
一对夫妻很幸运地订到了火车票，上车后却发现有一位女士坐在他们的位子上. 先生示意太太坐在她旁边的位子上，却没有请那女士让位.太太坐定后仔细一看，发现那位女士右脚有点不方便，才了解先生为何不请她起来. 他就这样从嘉义一直站到台北. 　　下了车之后，心疼先生的太太就说：”让位是善行，但是从嘉义到台北这么久，中途大可请她把位子还给你，换你坐一下.” 　　先生却说：”人家不方便一辈子，我们就不方便这三小时而已.” 太太听了相当感动，觉得世界都变得温柔了许多. 　　”人家不方便一辈子，我们就不方便这三小时而已.”多浩荡大气、慈悲善美的一句话. 它能将善念传导给别人，影响周遭的环境氛围，让世界变得善美、圆满. 　　”善良”，多么单纯有力的一个词汇，它浅显易懂，它与人终生相伴，但愿我们能常追问它、善用它，因为老祖宗早就叮嘱过”善为至宝”，一生用之不尽啊. 　　

有一次，在女儿上小学五年级时，大约在十月份，我发烧高烧在卫生院打点滴，我在家里留了纸条，让她别等我，放学回来后，自己到对马路去买客饭吃。可是到了晚上6点钟的时候，病房的门被人推开了，只见女儿拎着保温瓶进来了。是她亲手做的米饭和几样小菜（有丝瓜炒毛豆、炒鸡蛋等），当时我惊呆了，因为女儿以前从来没做过这种事，而且菜的味道还不错。女儿说：“自己一定要学会做饭给妈吃，也要学会照顾别人。”当时我真的非常感动。 　　

有一个青年，爱上了一位女子，青年不知这女子是魔鬼所变。为讨女子欢心，青年倾其所有，尽其所能。一日，魔鬼要青年去挖他母亲的心给她吃，青年毫不犹豫地答应了。黑夜里，他捧着妈妈的心，匆匆赶回魔鬼身边。经过一片树林时，不小心摔了一跤，心被扔出去老远，青年费力地从地上往起爬时，听见那颗心在问：“跌疼了吗，我的儿？” 　　

法国一个偏僻的小镇，据传有一个特别灵验的甘泉，常会出现奇迹，可以医治各种疾病。 　　有一天，一个拄着拐杖，少了一条腿的退伍军人，一颠一跛的走过镇上的马路。旁边的镇民带着同情的口吻说：“可怜的家伙，难道他要向上帝请求再有一条腿吗？”这一句话被退伍的军人听到了，他转过身对他们说：“我不是要向上帝请求有一条新的腿，而是要请求他帮助我，教我没有一条腿后，也知道如何过日子。” 　　

一个生活贫困的男孩为了积攒学费，挨家挨户地推销商品。傍晚时，他感到疲惫万分，饥饿难挨，而他推销的却很不顺利，以至于他有些绝望。这时，他十分饿，他敲开一扇门，希望主人能给他一杯水。开门的是一位美丽的年轻女子，她却给了他一杯浓浓的热牛奶，令男孩感激万分。许多年后，男孩成了一位著名的外科大夫。曾给他恩惠的女子，因为病情严重，当地的大夫都束手无策，便被转到了那位著名的外科大夫所在的医院。外科大夫为妇女做完手术后，惊喜地发现那位妇女正是多年前在他饥寒交迫时，热情地给过他帮助的年轻女子，当年正是那杯热奶使他又鼓足了信心，完成了学业。那位妇女想这次费用一定很贵，当她鼓起勇气看时惊喜地发现：手术费单上有一行字：手术费—一杯牛奶。

女人称呼大全

妖的叫美女
刁的叫才女
木的叫淑女
蔫的叫温柔
凶的叫泼辣
傻的叫阳光
狠的叫冷艳
土的叫传统
洋的叫潇洒
匪的叫另类
骚的叫风流
嫩的叫青春靓丽
老的叫风韵犹存
浪的叫众星捧月
牛的叫傲雪凌风
闲的叫感情专一
忙的叫追求自我
弱不禁风的叫有女人味
长得不象女人的那叫超女！

丑，但是丑的特别，也就是特别的丑

人生没有彩排，每天都是现场直播！

此地禁止大小便，违者没收工具

輕鬆ㄧ下 ^_^

一戶農明天殺雞，晚上餵雞時說：「快吃吧，這是你最後一頓！」
第二天見雞已躺平並留遺書：=0 A
「我已吃老鼠藥，你們也別想吃我，我他媽也不是好惹的！」

=0 D
有人拉著一頭豬逛街，很幸福的樣子。
路人經過滿懷同情地說：「看一個人的層次，就看他跟誰在一起。」
話未說完，就看到豬很鄙夷地棄人而去。
=0 A

知識競賽主持人問：「貓是否會爬樹？」
老鷹搶答：「會！」
主持人：「請舉例說明！」
老鷹含淚道：「那年，我睡熟了，貓爬上樹。。。。後來就有了貓頭鷹。。」


醫生來到一家餐廳吃飯，正點菜，發現服務生總是下意識地摸屁股，
便關切地問道：「有痔瘡嗎？」
服務生指了指菜單說：「請您點菜單裡有的菜好嗎？」


甲：「為什麼母雞的腿這麼短？」
乙：「笨蛋！如果母雞的腿長了，那麼下蛋時，蛋不就全部摔破了嗎？！」



這是我女友跟我說發生在她們系上office 的一件趣事：
我女友幫系上一位新來的副教授打一份申請國會研究計劃的文件。
其中一個欄位須填寫計劃主持人的學經歷，
於是就問該副教授主持過什麼計劃。
他回答說：「我只不過是個菜鳥，那有什麼經歷。」
這時一旁另一位也是新來不久的女副教授為安慰他，
表示自己比他更菜，於是就說：
「菜鳥已經不錯了，我連鳥都沒有！」


聯誼會上，大夥懷念起童年往事 ~~~
aro ：「我小時候長得白白淨淨的，我媽媽還把我的頭髮7起來，
所以大家都以為我是小女孩。」
小明：「那麼你一定很受困擾吧！」
aro ：「可不是，就連班導師也誤認為我是女孩子，
還讓我坐在女生8 2一排，後來我的
母親就把我的頭髮剪掉，讓我恢復男兒本尊。」
小明：「哈哈！你那位 老師一定會大吃一驚吧！」
aro ：「不！最吃驚的是每天等我上學、幫我拿書包的那位男同學。」


一個遊客乘著出租車出遊。
半路上他拍拍司機的肩膀，想問一件事，沒想到嚇得司機哇哇亂叫。
他抱歉道：「啊，對不起，沒想到會嚇著你。」
司機道：「沒關係，小小的誤會。我今天剛開出租車，
過去我一直是開靈櫃車的。」


甲女：「風很大，怕裙子被風掀起，我想回去換裝。」
乙女：「改穿長褲？」
甲女：「不，想換件漂亮一點的內褲。」


期中考出了一題翻譯。
『子在川上曰：逝者如斯夫，不捨晝夜 ........ 』
老師改完稿考卷，很嚴肅的說：我們有個人寫 ........
『死去的那個人好像是我的丈夫，白天晚上看起來都很像... 』


阿忠：「你救過多少個人啊？」
救生員：「無=E 6個 ...其中有一個還成為了我的老婆..... 」
阿忠：「有何感想？」
救生員：「她的人生浮起來了，我的人生沈下了。」



歷史老師在教清朝歷史，發現有個學生在睡覺。
老師把他叫醒，問道：『 清廷最大的敵人是什麼？』
學生睡眼惺忪的回答：『青蛙！』

笑话 (一)

1、一饿狼觅食，听到有女人在训孩子：再哭就把你扔出去喂狼！孩子哭一夜，狼在门外痴痴等至天亮，长叹一声：骗子，女人都是骗子！ 　

2.一犯人被执行枪决 ,由于子弹是劣质的,第一枪没放出,接着又放了第二枪...第三枪...这时犯人哭了:大哥你掐死我吧,太他妈吓人了! 　

3.一老太太看完黑人百米赛后，抹着眼泪说：吓死人！几个挖煤的跪成一排被枪毙，没瞄准就开了枪，娃儿们吓得那个跑呀，绳子都拦不住哇！ 　

4、黄先生热爱革命，为纪念红军，给儿子取名为'军'， 一天送儿子上课，见公交 8路进站，于是冲儿子大喊：黄军快跑，八路来了！~~~ 　

5、一只小熊去山里创业，农夫给了他一把镰刀，木匠给了他一把锤子， 小熊来到山里遇到老虎，吓得把镰刀、锤子举在头顶，老虎说：没看出来，就你这熊样还是个党员来！

腦袋脫線

●有一次坐公交拿了IC卡排隊上車，前面一個人是扔硬幣的，我大腦短路跟著把IC卡扔 進去了……

●早上要戴隱形眼鏡，結果把蓋打開直接把眼鏡倒馬桶?，然後鎮定地倒入新的護理液，準備摘眼鏡，半天摘不下來。

●鄰居忘了帶鑰匙，從我家陽臺翻過去，在屋?找到鑰匙後，又翻回來，再打開自家房門。更令人叫絕的是，我自始至終在陽臺接應著，未覺有不妥之處。 唉，我倆的腦袋肯定被同一個門縫擠過。

●某日發現手機不見了，翻遍包包以及屋中各個角落，未果。鬱悶地跌坐地上，從口袋掏出手機，給大家群發短信：我手機丟了!

●一次大家打麻將停電了，就點根蠟燭繼續打，後來有人嫌熱，就嚷嚷：「喂~~~把電扇打開」,大夥忙勸: 「不行不行，蠟燭會被吹滅」。

●董存瑞(大陸著名英雄)死後，有關部門接他的老媽媽進京作報告。老媽媽一輩子都是個普通農婦，不敢去。有關部門就跟她說：「不要怕，你上臺後就講3句話：董存瑞是我的好兒子，董存瑞是毛主席的好兒子，董存瑞是中國人民的好兒子。」老媽媽進京一上臺，看見毛主席就坐在第一排，緊張了，一張口就說成：「董存瑞是我和毛主席的兒子。」全場鴉雀無聲，都給雷死了。毛主席楞了半天，扭頭小=

●数年前上中学的时候，一次老师前一天说第二天考试一个小时，第二天考试的时候说“今天考试60分钟”。全班大哗，一致抗议老师说话不算话，为什么昨天说一小时今天变成了60分钟。老师不解地看着全班挤扁的脑袋。。。

菜根谭

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